December 14

How to Achieve Happiness


The A-I on how to achieve real happiness

Todays world is a world where traditional tribal structures and the connection to nature have been partially or completely lost. That means that usually individuality rules supreme, and with it a need to  operate your life primarily from your mind, to perform and compete according to the society you live in. How a person thrives or struggles with these conditions varies, so I will talk about the ABC of things that can impair or improve happiness in my view. (With a recommendation to reduce, undo or prevent it.)

Caught in time = stress = faster ageing

Being in the future with your mind, and being stressed by all your to-dos not having enough time is one of the most stress-inducing experiences. As you may know stress directly affects the immune system and ages the body faster than many other unhealthy habits because it’s form of sustained fear. In other words the body may be reacting as if you’re under attack.

—> The best method here is to take regular breaks, every 2h of the day at least, to breathe deeply for a minute and call all of your awareness back into the ‘now’ moment. Read ‘The power of Now’ by Eckhardt Tolle to get your head around the fact that only the now-moment exists. Once you really get this you will not allow your mind to ‘stress you out’ and carry you into the future as much, only for the brief periods of future planning that are necessary.

A for Attitude (and Outlook)     (chinese maybe point 2 instead of A for… ??)

Your attitude plays a key role for you to either see opportunities for learning or growth or a life full of obstacles and difficulties, a glass half full or a glass half empty. The universe is full of benevolence (goodwill) and is continuously offering opportunities for growth & development, but can you discover them? Sometimes it takes some reflection or meditation to discover the value of a challenging opportunity. People a who don’t practice gratitude and appreciation will limit their ability to enjoy life. Make it a habit to pay attention to the small things that are beautiful and to that which they receive from life, others, from society and parents otherwise you may become arrogant, selfish or ignorant of the abundance of small blessings that you receive. “Gratitude is an attitude” and it’s true that with it comes a greater power to attract more positive events into your life, simply because you’re not judging the universe but instead making an effort to see it’s goodness.

-> Ask yourself: What is this life event or situation offering me as a gift for learning or growth. What do I need to change in myself? What can I be grateful for? Reserve at least 30min of calm time for this every week.

B for limited beliefs like ‘I’m alone’

You’re never really alone in terms of energy. We are all connected much more intimately than we could ever imagine. Yet your mind can take physical and emotional aloneness and isolation and weave a big story around it. That means your beliefs about people, society, yours and the other gender all contribute to create a certain outlook and perspective of what is possible or not. The more disappointing & painful experiences your soul has in relationships, the more likely that your outlook or worldview contains negative beliefs that act like a filter: they don’t allow you to see clearly.

Therefore looking closely at your belief structure, and dissolving disempowering and limiting beliefs on a regular basis is a very wise and useful practice to include into your life.

–> each week take one area of your life that contains limitation or even difficulty: write this theme on the top of a piece of paper. Without thinking to much write down all the fearful & limited beliefs that you carry in your conscious and unconscious – writing fast and just trusting what comes helps a lot..

Then make a clear intention to let all these free-based beliefs go and find a statement/affirmation that is empowering and encouraging. Repeat it daily for at least 5-7min, do this for the entire week, best before you go to bed or when you’re truly awake in the morning.

C for ‘I don’t take Crap’

Boundaries are learnt usually in childhood but not always wise and helpful. Therefore it’s good to get advice or a second opinion from others so you know what is appropriate… Do i give a second chance in this situation? Am I being used, manipulated or being taken for granted? Is it time to say ‘NO’? When you feel crap in a relationship it can often have to do with you or the other party overstepping or not understanding healthy boundaries.

-> Write down what you need in terms of Respect, Space, Time etc. to feel good. “To feel respected and honoured I need:………” (fill in the blank). In this way you are bringing it from the unconscious into the conscious mind so it can be formulated and communicated more easily.

D for Discipline

Without discipline the parts of us that are lazy, don’t want to make an effort to change or work, or who like comfort above all else, etc. will never allow us to develop into our full potential. “I could have would have, should have done this…..” is usually a sign that this part has been given too much power and that discipline needs to be introduced.

-> decide on a daily practice that you will repeat no matter what for at least 14 days without reducing the time allocated (example: 20min yoga every morning before work)

E for Evaluate yourself

It’s wise every week to take a step back and ask: “what is working and what not? and then asking WHY?” Drawing conclusions and making changes follows from this analysis. Sometimes it’s worthwhile to engage professionals like coaches, healers or psychologists who have even more detachment from your life and can provide additional useful feedback.

-> Which areas of your life suck the most? start with these to ask the questions above and then EXECUTE the final conclusions within 7 days as a practical action.

F for Fullfilment through correct Values

‘I want, i want, I want’ says the Ego and it will never stop. But if you discover what you truly value (what do you fill your time and space with most?) then you can align yourself to your values instead of having to deny them or taking on values of others. As soon as this is in place you’ll be more able to proceed with recognition that you are unique in your values and that when you follow them everything flows more and brings more joy. That means you need to listen to your heart, otherwise your mind and it’s learnt ideas may convince you of values that are not really yours.

–> meditate for 40min, begin by relaxing your mind with gentle music and then imagine what you love, desire and value most.. Afterwards write a list of maybe 5-10 things that came up in the meditation. Think hard which one of these items you value most and then make a “hit list” that you stick on your fridge (or a place you often look at)

G for Grounding

Connecting to nature at least 3x per week, even if it’s just a walk in the park or hugging a tree allows you to connect with the CHI of the earth as well as the rhythms and blessings that she can offer you when you “check in” and connect your mind-heart-soul energy to her.

-> Make it a point to project your mind 10m under the ground when you don’t have to focus on a specific task and imagine that it’s merging or resting within the crystals of the earth. Open to all positive earth energies with your intention and draw them up through your breath and base of spine into your centre. (ongoing exercise)

H for Health & Healing

To provide the foundation for a happy life you’re responsible for the primary vehicle, which is your physical body. That requires awareness of its changing needs, preferably an understanding of basic nutrition and an effort to cultivate health via good quality natural food and regular daily exercise. Proper rest is also part of this.

Receiving some regular bodywork, such as massage or acupuncture is also useful to prevent more serious conditions from developing. 

I for Identity & Spiritual development/learning

‘Who am I? ‘ this question was a primary quest in many ancient schools. The more you open your mind, and are willing to ask this question again and again, the more chances there are of everything making sense. Think of it in this way: limited wisdom = limited understanding = limited meaning of what you experience = longing for more meaning (which often shows itself as consumerism). 

-> Read spiritual literature, self help books or even autobiographies from people who have achieved amazing feats to learn from the wisdom they have already aquired and can offer in a concentrated form. Take that which feels right for you and ignore that which doesn’t resonate. Read across the board don’t get fixated with 1 author or spiritual school/religion. Note down the insights and implement them within 1 weeks for it to stick.


attitude, boundaries, detachment, discipline, evaluation, grounding, healing, limited beliefs, mindfulness, nature, self care, self respect, stress, values

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